I am still alive and well! We were on vacation last week, and I decided that I would spend as much time with my family as possible, which also meant that my time on the computer was very limited. We spent the week on Conesus Lake with my siblings and parents, and had a fantastic time!
We celebrated my parents 70th birthdays with a fabulous menu of favorite Italian foods, and by the grace of God, I stayed on my food plan 100%. I rarely experience cravings anymore, to which I am extremely grateful.
However, as the week progressed, there were a few intense moments which family can only bring on..emotions can surface so easily with the people we love the most. I found myself feeling those emotions more than ever before, and then it dawned on me that in the past I have always numbed myself with food when I started to 'feel' anything. It was not uncommon for me to grab a cookie or bread, anything to stuff my emotions and not have to deal with them. I found myself extremely upset on a few different occasions, and realized that I now need to figure out the best way to communicate and deal with these emotions since I have removed my 'medication' from my life. I am happy to say that I did talk these emotions out with my family, admitted where I was wrong and we moved on, and continued to have a fantastic time together! I am so very thankful for a family who is open to communicate, who love each other so deeply, enough to admit when we are wrong and continue to love one another despite our weaknesses and flaws. We are blessed indeed!
Monday was another day full of emotions. We came home a little sunburned and exhausted and I literally felt like having a temper tantrum!! I was just feeling anxious about a lot of things, and I wanted so badly to just start eating everything!! I have to honestly say that it was the first time I felt like that since the beginning of this journey. It took everything I had to stay out of that kitchen. I was seriously ready to make a dish of pasta and then top it off with some brownies!! But GOD, in His GREAT MERCY had compassion on me and made a way of escape! This new mind He has given me began to think much more clearly than I have in a very long time. I told myself that it was okay to feel these emotions, but it was not okay to stuff my face and slip back into my old habits so easily. Once again I found myself sitting on the couch filled with frustration. The longer I sat there, the more peace I felt as I poured my heart out to my heavenly Father. After about an hour I felt completely at peace with myself and with God. My heart was so grateful of His promise to never leave us. The 'escape' that He made for me was to go back into the kitchen and have a piece of Ezekiel bread , toasted and slathered with natural peanut butter and enjoy the good food I have available to me. What an intense feeling to make a conscious healthy choice after dealing with the emotions I was feeling, instead of diving into the refrigerator or pantry, full force, full of emotion and mindlessly stuffing my face. Can I say it again?? God is so GOOD!
So, last Wednesday I weighed myself and lost a whopping FIVE pounds! Since there was no loss the week before, I was ecstatic to see these results!!
Today, I stepped on the scale and I lost another TWO pounds! I continue to work out at the YMCA, take bike rides with my family, and am eating only fresh, clean foods. I start every morning with a bowl of oatmeal topped with fresh fruit. Lunch is usually a fresh fruit salad, or green salad. I try to keep my lunch all raw, although sometimes I do have some cooked vegetables and/or chicken. Dinner is lean meat or fish (I rarely eat red meat) and fresh (cooked or raw) vegetables. If I do feel like I need a snack in the afternoon or evening, I always choose a fresh piece of fruit or raw veggies. Occasionally I will have a piece or two of Ezekiel bread (which is a sprouted grain bread) with natural peanut butter and all fruit spread or honey. I try not to eat too much grain since I just feel that much better without it. I have commited to God that I will not consume any sugar or processed foods until I reach my goal weight.
I am thankful that even in the midst of my crazy emotions, that God continues to be faithful. His promises are true, His peace is there for us to take hold of and His mercies are never ending! I continue to take this journey one day at a time and I am humbled that He continues to carry me despite my weaknesses.
Well..once again, the scale did not move. Last week after losing 3 lbs, I thought for sure because I started working out harder and added some weight training that I would have seen a loss this week. But, this morning, the scale read the exact weight as last week.
A couple of variables to consider, one being the fact that I am on the second day of my menstrual cycle...and the weight training..could fat possibly be turning into muscle already?!
I document what I eat each day, and only once have I ever gone above 1500 calories in the past six weeks! I average about 1200 calories each day. Yesterday I barely ate 800 calories!
A friend reminded me that it is not totally about weight loss anyways, it is about obedience, and that reminder was incredibly encouraging. I am choosing to be obedient to what the Lord has shown me to do regarding my body. There's nothing I could really change, except eating less or spend my life at the gym..I do not consume anything white or processed. I rarely eat grains, and the only main carbs I eat come from fruit. So, I feel as if I am truly feeding my body good, healthy fuel, and getting a good routine of exercise.
I went to the YMCA 3 times last week and twice this week already! I am feeling better than ever! No loss this week is a little discouraging to me, but I do know that my body is not as young as it used to be and there could be all kinds of crazy reasons as to why this has happened. I will not allow it to set me back at all..I am thankful for this journey and I am bound and determined to continue on this path to wholeness in Christ..spirit, mind and body.
Yesterday we celebrated two birthdays. My son, Michael turned 15 and my daughter, Julia turned 10! They have the same birthday, just 5 years apart! They requested pasta, so I was forced to face my biggest temptation once again. This time was completely different than the disaster that occurred last time! I steamed some zucchini, eggplant and green pepper and poured a couple of cups of sauce over the vegetables, while everyone else ate rigatoni and meatballs smothered in sauce and Romano cheese. I never felt deprived and, oh my goodness..it was absolutely delicious!! We had birthday cake and ice cream, and I can honestly say that I wasn't tempted at all! The fresh fruit I consume each day has totally taken care of any sugar cravings!! God is so good!! His food is completely satisfying!!
So...onward I go down this journey that my Heavenly Father has me on..thankful for his love..rest assured that although the scale did not move, I am fully at peace and can truthfully say that my God has transformed me into a Woman of Self-Discipline.
Hello Family and Friends!
It's been a very busy week..so much so that finding the time to update my blog was nearly impossible. Summer is definitely in full swing, so I expect to only do weekly updates throughout the summer.
Last week was VBS at our church, and we had a fantastic time! I am so thankful for the incredible church family that God has blessed us with. July 4th weekend then came upon us rather quickly, and the sounds and smells of summer were everywhere! Fireworks, s'mores, ice cream cones...yet even as summer officially arrived, I managed to eat 100% "clean" and healthy! I stepped on the scale this morning, and I dropped another THREE POUNDS!!
All week I have been saying, "I am becoming a woman of self-discipline", in fact I wanted to print it out and hang it on my refrigerator. The other day, the Lord reminded me that what I should be saying is, "I AM a woman of self discipline!" So that is exactly what I have been proclaiming over the past couple of days. There is life and death in the power of the tongue..I am all about speaking life into the lives of my children..it is something I try to do often, so why not speak life into my own body??
So that is what I will be printing out and hanging on my refrigerator. God in his amazing grace and perfect love has promised to complete this work he has started in me and I can boldly proclaim that in Christ, I do, in fact, posses the Godly trait of self-discipline..
Last week I also began fasting once a week. I fast on Tuesday's, which, if I think about it from a fleshly perspective, it is very hard, but when I think about giving my heavenly father 24 hours of undivided attention..no food to interfere with my thinking as I read his word and as I lift up prayers and conversations with my God, it is very easy, and in fact, it is an act obedience, as I believe that God has showed me that I need to make fasting a regular part of my life.
I also made it to the YMCA twice last week and worked out on the elliptical machine..which is my favorite machine there. I also went on 2 bike rides with my family and we then headed up to Stony Brook Park on Saturday where we hiked for a couple of hours. A month ago I would have been exhausted by the time we finished the hike..the change in my life has already been dramatic. When we finished the hike I felt amazing..not tired but full of energy! I carried along my fresh fruit and water to snack on with the kids..a month ago I would have packed granola bars and crackers or chips and possibly some fruit..my husband and I have determined that we are going to become a healthy, active family!
I continue to praise the Lord for the work he is doing in me. I am constantly humbled that he has his hand on my life..