December!

Hello Friends,

Wow-November was quite a crazy month! I lost no weight. I haven't stepped on the scale. I'm afraid of what it might say!  After cheating with cheesecake and Chinese food on my birthday, it's been extremely difficult for me to stay focused on my healthy eating plan!  I've found myself cheating more than I would like to admit and exercise has dwindled to about once per week, if that.  None of my clothes feel tight, so I may have only gained a couple of pounds, BUT-fact is, I have not lost!  I feel bouts of self hatred and condemnation flooding my thoughts quite often.  I try not to go into that mode, but honestly, I am NOT happy with the choices I have made recently.  I have not been the woman of self-discipline that I know God desires of me.  I know--no condemnation--I know He loves me in spite of myself, but I have been feeling quite discouraged these days.  However, when I awoke this morning, I felt a renewed sense of hope!

My in laws moved out this week, which was a tremendous weight lifted from my life!  I finally feel as if we have somewhat of a normal life back again!  It has taken all week for me to get the house clean again, smells removed and clutter organized.  If you know me at all, you know that I highly despise clutter!  There was much of it when they were living with us.  Real life hoarders were my house guests. Not that my house is always spotless, after all there are five children living here, but for the most part we try to keep it picked up as much as possible.  My sister in law did comment on several occasions that she wanted to clean her house the way I clean mine.  I am hoping that she learned the importance of tossing garbage on a regular basis!  Honestly, I am thankful for the time they spent here.  It was not easy, to say the very least.  It was inconvenient and at times a struggle to keep a smile on my face.  Twice I left the house and drove for several hours while sobbing and asking God why they were living with me!  Twice I lost my temper with them, and had to apologize for hurting their feelings.  The day they moved out, God revealed to me why they were here.  There is a long history of abuse in my husband's family and I have been praying for an open door to share the love of Jesus with my mother and sister in law.  Both were victims of emotional and physical abuse, and both have become extremely bitter.  I'm not sure of their salvation, as they are devout Catholics.  When I asked if they could ever remember a time when they asked Jesus into their hearts or given their lives over to Him, they responded that they "do that all the time".  Not sure how much they understand, but I do know that they love Jesus and that they desire to forgive and live the life God intended.  We had a beautiful conversation on the day they left.  Tears were shed and I received so many hugs - probably more than they gave me during their entire stay!  We talked in length about forgiveness and what that means, and I assured them that it didn't mean that they had to be their abusers "friend", but that God has commanded us to forgive as He has forgiven us.  My sister in law was so sweet when she said, "I want to forgive but I just don't know how" - what a beautiful heart she has!  She then asked me for a Bible!  I felt as if God's grace was so evident that day.  He made it so clear to me why they are in my life.  Relationships can be so difficult, and I am just grateful that they left on good terms and that they left!! :)  I volunteered to pick them up once a week and take them shopping, and I'm actually looking forward to being able to visit them - a much better situation than having them live with me!


So, I said all of that to say that today, on December 1, as I sit in my quiet, clean living room, I am ready to get my brain and butt back in gear!  I have pulled out my armor - the Word of God - and am ready to fight off those temptations!!  I was doing so well on the lots of veggies and lean proteins and no sugar-so that is what I am getting back to!  I don't care if it's the holidays, no more cheating for me!  I haven't reached the point of feeling physically awful from the sugar and white carbs that have made their way back into my body again, but I know that if I continue the way I am going, that I will be right back where I was six months ago, and by the grace of God, I will not go back there ever again!!

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 3:13b-14


Thank you for praying for me!
Love to all of you,

Random Acts of LOVE

"Today is my birthday.  I turn 38, and I have decided to celebrate my birthday by doing 38 random acts of kindness. I want to share God's love and bless you today."  I said a variation of this nearly 30 times today.  It got easier as the day went on, and my cup began to fill up extremely quickly.

I was inspired by another woman who did this very thing on her 38th birthday.  I happened to stumble across her blog yesterday, and in an instant I knew that this is how I wanted to spend my day.  I had planned on doing absolutely nothing on my day.  No housework, cooking, or even answering email.  I wanted a completely lazy day, and no arguing from my kids! (that's my usual request every year) :)  After reading what this woman did, I too, wanted in on this exciting task of making my birthday less about me and more about serving others. My day was far from the "lazy afternoon" I had envisioned, but I will be forever grateful for the gift my Father God prepared for me on this day.

I am a giver. I love to give. I get giddy over the thought of people seeing God shine through me.  It is nothing that I do myself-it is all Him.  My Father God.  He gives through me, He loves through me.
I also know Him well enough to know that when He has a task for me, the joy of obedience far out weighs any fears that may begin to rise up within me.  I also know that although sometimes the task seems scary, His plans are greater--and I don't want to miss out on a single thing that my God has for me!

I began to pray last night. I prayed hard and deeply. I prayed that God would bring people to my heart that He wanted His love shed upon through me. I prayed for the right people to be in the right place at the right time, for me to share His love.  I prayed that everyone I came across today would see Jesus in me. I also began to have a little fear. I worried about rejection.  I worried that I would stumble over my words-and I did at times. But, the best birthday gift ever was knowing that I made even just a tiny impact in more than 38 people's lives today.  Knowing that Jesus used me to love like He loves is such an amazing gift!

This morning started very early, and you will notice in the pictures that my hair is out of control and it appears that I only had a few hours of sleep--wait--I did only have 4 hours of sleep last night! :)

My first task: Bringing flowers and a card to my mother in law and sister in law.  I shared with them that although it hasn't been easy living together over the past 2 months, I am thankful that they are a part of my family. My sister in law cried and hugged me when I told her this. Honestly, this first task was a little difficult for me, but God softened my heart very quickly as I hugged my sister in law and told her that I loved her very much. She asked that I not take a picture of them so early. :)

Next, we headed to our church Webster Bible Church, and school, Webster Christian, to drop off muffins and pass out candy and cards to the staff.  I am so very thankful for the leadership and teachers at our church and school.  It was a joy to bless them in this small way today.

Michael helps carry in the muffins for the staff at our
church and school.

Candy for some teachers and a book for the 1st graders

Explaining why I was there-and received a hug! :) 

small gifts to love on some of our teachers

Julia helping out by leaving candy to surprise a favorite teacher

Note and candy bar for our mailman.  Letters to friends.  A special card
to a special lady I met on an airplane in August of this year. She was
very elderly and we talked through the entire flight, and became instant
friends.  She asked me to keep in touch, but I didn't until today.
I hope she remembers me and I hope she feels loved. 

My amazing, God-given friend, Darci arrives bright and early at my house to begin
our adventures.  This beautiful woman is truly a gift from God in my life.
She packed up her 6 children and picked up Tori and I and we set off to shine
for Jesus! I am honored to wear their family "birthday cake hat" - I truly feel loved by this lady!
Thank You, my sweet Darci, for just being YOU! 

Little did I know that I was in for a HUGE surprise!  Darci had emailed many of
my friends and family - ones she could "find" she said - and asked them to write
me a special note-words of incredible encouragement and love came from
every single page.  Every time I would do one of my random acts of love, she
would hand me an envelope and in turn, bless me.  I can't tell you how many
tears fell today while reading these letters. I will keep every single one forever.
Thank You, my precious family and friends! I am simply in awe of how much
I am loved!

I met this beautiful woman at BJs gas station.  I didn't know it, but Darci spotted
her before me and thought she seemed agitated.  I spotted her and grabbed a package of Panera
cookies and jumped out of the van.
(I gave out store bought baked goods to the random strangers and home-made to the people I know)
I approached her and heard Darci say-"you're thinking what I'm thinking" :) I shared why I
was there and she then shared that she had a horrible start to her day and how blessed
she was that I gave her some cookies!  And then this random stranger hugged me!
It was a beautiful feeling. Her eyes looked a little teary, and as we drove away I knew
that this was certainly going to be a fantastic day!

The whole crew, minus Ving who was our awesome photog for the day! :)
What a beautiful day in the Lord!

Buying flowers for a friend 

Really starting to enjoy this task God had planned for my 38th birthday!

I purchased a gift card at the register and gave it to this man behind me in line.
This was my plan all along. I prayed that God would put the person who was
supposed to receive this blessing behind me.  I have to say that this
was by far the most moving experience for me of the day.  His face seemed
to tell a story of heartache, and I literally almost started to cry when I was
talking to him.  I pray he felt blessed today.

Sharing God's Love is so FUN!

Next stop: the Webster Fire Department.  We thanked them for their service
in our community and brought cookies. The kids were given a full tour
of the place! What a great time! Unfortunately, the only firefighter there was
the chaplain and there was a truck mechanic, but we got to see all the
trucks and left the cookies for the firemen.

this one turned into a field trip!  We spent about half an hour here!

Tori was so excited to see a real fire house!

Thank You, Webster Fire Department!

We then went to several different homes of friends and church family to bless
them with cards, flowers, cookies and even coffee!

Fabulous!

We stopped at UNO's where I purchased a Gift Card and then gave it to
a couple eating lunch.  The couple to my right were the ones who received it.
They were extremely grateful. At first they seemed a little skeptical, but
then were all smiles once they realized that I was serious. :)

We also thanked our Police Officers

This sweet little man was adorable. I jumped out of the van and helped him
get the door.  He could barely walk, but he was going in to vote. He was
very grateful and broke my heart when he looked at me and said,
"my legs just don't want to work anymore".  I could tell he may have felt
a little embarrassed and I really felt for him.  I pray he felt God's love today.

We handed out 22 bottles of water in several locations.
We went to a park, offered some to joggers, which we learned
did not appreciate me interrupting their run! Haha-how should I
know that they didn't want to stop for a water break? We got a
serious laugh out of that one! I would welcome the break if I was
running! LOL

We picked up my kids from school and offered water to the parents in the
car loop. Surprisingly, many people refused, and a couple were even slightly
rude. I learned that I don't like it when people don't accept my gifts! :)
The ones who did accept, though were extremely grateful and offered
huge smiles and thanks for our random acts of kindness! 

She was super excited that the water was free! :)

We finished up the day by handing out water in the BJs parking lot

Most here were extremely grateful

This guy seemed extra thrilled about what we were doing.  When he drove
away I noticed a "Jesus is Coming Soon" bumper sticker on his car :)
A young girl was absolutely thrilled when we offered her some water.
She explained that moments before we walked over to her she was thinking
about how thirsty she was and was going to buy herself some water! :)
YAY GOD!

Enjoying a delicious strawberry, the first solid food I consumed the entire day,
and it was 4pm! Thankful for so many blessings today!
Another blessing was when we gave away one of my favorites books,
Praying God's Word by Beth Moore to a friend who just happened to be
in the same parking lot we were in.  Darci and I had prayed that God would
show us who to give the book to.  It was extremely obvious that this woman
was hand picked by God. That was the most powerful event today.  I'm ever
so thankful that I was obedient today, just because I feel so strongly that
the book was meant to be in this woman's hands today!

When I arrived home tonight, my sister in law had decorated the house for me.
She is such a sweetheart! No doubt-this was the best birthday party ever! Although
I didn't make it to exactly 38 random acts of love-I certainly feel completely fulfilled
and thankful that my Father God chose me for this task today.

A friend shared this today and I find it to be exactly my heart at the close of this
beautiful day.

"As we give, we find that sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven.
And in the end, we learn that it was no sacrifice at all."
Spencer W. Kimball

50 POUNDS GONE

So....basically I only lost 3 pounds this month, but I am wearing a pair of jeans that I could barely button only two weeks ago. Today they fit perfectly. The scale is beginning to become my enemy.  I'm not stepping on it again for another month, at least.  I've been way too worried about it and then I tend to get incredibly discouraged when it doesn't say what I want it to say!

On a happier note-I have now lost FIFTY pounds since June 1, 2011! That's just 5 months! I definitely feel like a new person! I've changed the plan up just a tiny bit. I've done some research on the Dukan Diet and the 4 Hour Body diet and I'm doing a combination of the two.  Both are high (lean) protein diets with lots of veggies. No fruit while I'm still losing and no grains, not even whole grains for now. I feel absolutely fantastic-I am rarely hungry and feeling very strong!  This is definitely going to be a way of life for me for the rest of my life!  Eventually I will add in the cheat meal once per week. I'm just not so confident that I can handle it yet.

We still have Paul's family living with us and it has been s t r e s s f u l to say the very least.  We are hoping they will be moving out in the next couple of weeks.  My birthday is Nov 8 and I prayed it would be by then, but it's not looking too promising.  My mother in law is only 76 but can barely walk and is extremely weak and frail. She requires constant care. My sister in law has some mental retardation, with the mentality of about 10 - 12 yrs. Sometimes even younger, in my opinion.  I love them and am trying to help as best as I can, but I am plain exhausted at this point.  They've been here since September, so it is definitely time to have some normalcy return to our house!  I definitely see this as another way that God has chosen to build His character in me!! (Will that character building ever stop?!)

So I know that I promised recipes and I feel like the worst blogger ever, but I hope you can forgive me for not posting any yet.  I just can't seem to find the time to sit down and write them out.  I have been taking pictures of different meals with the intention of putting together a recipe page for those who want some ideas!
Hopefully it will be sooner than later!! :) Thank you for your patience! 


Here is a sample of what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast:  2 eggs scrambled with 4 artichoke hearts
                 coffee with real cream and xylitol (a new, healthier sugar substitute I am using)

Lunch:      Roasted Veggies - asparagus, cauliflower, red pepper
(I eat roasted veggies several times a week, it's just my favorite way to eat them, especially when it's cold outside! I do all sorts of different veggies, just no more potatoes, white or sweet. I drizzle olive oil over the veggies, sprinkle with a little salt and pepper and bake at 425 for 15-20 min or 450 for 10-15 min)

Snack:    4 slices of turkey breast
           
Dinner:   1 large 95% lean hamburger patty with a slice of cheddar cheese, mustard, sugar free ketchup and a couple of pickle slices.

I was completely satisfied the rest of the evening after the hamburger.  I ate that at 4:30pm and had no cravings at all the rest of the night! I even served my family pumpkin pancakes with cooked apples and fresh whipped cream, and I had no desire to eat it! The high protein is definitely extremely satisfying!

I thank you all so much for continuing to pray for me! I am looking forward to getting back into a more regular exercise routine, as I have had almost zero time to get my exercise in.  I am only exercising about 2-3 times per week, and some weeks even less.  It could very well be one of the reasons the scale is not moving as quickly as I had hoped.  

I am so very thankful for each person God has placed in my life to encourage, mold, and challenge my daily living!  I read this quote yesterday:

Every experience God gives us, 
Every person He puts into our lives,
Is the perfect preparation for a
Future only He can see.
-Corrie ten Boom


This is so powerful!  I would not have chosen this living situation that I presently find myself in, but I know that God is going to use every experience in my life for His glory, and that just makes getting though another day just a little bit easier. :)  He has also placed incredible family and friends in my life that I am eternally grateful for.  Some are far away and some new friends who are nearby--I am so thankful for you all!

I thank my God every time I remember you.  
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy. 
-Philippians 1:3,4


Pressing on in this journey..thanking God for every experience, knowing that He is in full control!  
Love to all of you!

Goodbye 47 pounds!

So this was taken at like 8:00 on Saturday morning, October 1, 2011.  I feel like my face looks
so tired, and I'm not liking the pic very much, BUT, I am wearing size 18 jeans!! (I was wearing size 22 at my heaviest weight)

Four Month Update

Hello Friends and Family!!

Whew...it has been SUCH a crazy month since I last updated!
Let's get to the important stuff first...I stepped on the scale on October 1, 2011, exactly 4 months after starting this life changing journey, and I have lost 47 pounds total!!
Honestly, I am in awe.  God is so good to me and I feel so humbled that He continues to shed His grace on me as I continue down this path to wholeness.

A little over 3 weeks ago, my mother in law and special needs sister in law moved in with us unexpectedly. It has certainly been a trial to say the least.  I am trying with all my heart to keep a positive attitude and view this as a ministry, although some days are easier than others to have that attitude!  I literally feel like the only way I am going to survive this new challenge in my life is to take it one day at a time.  I told my kids that we needed to stop complaining about it because we don't want to be like the Israelites and have to wander through our "wilderness" for 40 years!!!!

Having the responsibility of taking care of two additional people has definitely brought on more stress in my life and I have found myself not being as strict as I should be with my eating.  It is so easy to slip back into old habits if I am not careful!  For me, the key is to stay alert!  Even just eating too many helpings of roasted vegetables.  I  have to check myself and make sure that I am eating for strength and not to stuff my emotions.  Making sure that I make time to exercise and prepare healthy meals for myself has also been a challenge at times.

So here goes...confession time..
A couple of weeks ago I found myself in the parking lot of Starbucks drinking a venti pumpkin spice latte with whipped cream and eating an apple fritter from Hegedorn's!  My daughter, Ally was with me, and as I sat there eating, I looked at her face just staring at me...to which she says, "Do you feel guilty?" Honestly, I didn't.  I just felt like I wanted it. I felt like I almost needed it.  Wrong answer.  It is so easy for me  to feel like a donut will fill the stressful moments instead of picking up my Bible or scripture cards! The good news is that I got right back on my plan the next day and decided that the donut wasn't going to be the end of all the good choices I had made in the previous months since embarking on this journey.  Once again, God in His great  mercy, showed me just how much He loves me by giving me the power to get back on track!  That has been such an area of weakness in my life in the past, and I was not about to go back to that place.

So, four months in, and I gotta say that I really feel like I don't even care that much about junk food anymore.  Even pasta doesn't call me the way it used to.  But, I will admit that there are some days (like the day at Starbucks) where it is just plain HARD to stick to the plan!  I pretty much feel like this journey will be life-long. It may get a little easier at times, but I think there will always be the bumps in the road.  I may take a step backwards and two steps forward, but I am determined to stay on the path, no matter what.  No giving up..I will reach my goal..and I'm only 3 pounds away from the half way mark of my first goal of losing 100 pounds!  Even after my goals are met, I am determined to stay on the path..to never go back to being morbidly obese. Ever.

With school underway, and my in laws are getting a little more settled into our routine, (They are only here temporarily) I will try to get back to updating my blog every other week, and maybe even once a week again.  Five kids, in laws, volleyball games, a senior preparing for college, etc. has really taken much of my time, and I ask you to forgive me for not keeping up with my writing and pictures!

I am so very thankful for my praying friends and those who love me and continue to encourage me!  We have begun the Made To Crave Bible study once again and I am so excited to see all that God has for us as we go through the book again.  We have some new people in our study this time around and I feel so blessed to be a part of such an amazing group of ladies.  Please continue to pray for us.

I am working on putting together some recipes and meal ideas that I have used throughout the past four months.  Several people have asked what I eat, so I figured I would share some of my favorite recipes.  I should have those posted soon.

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through.  May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."  I Thessalonians 5:23-24

Many blessings to you and yours...

I'm Still Here and Still on the Journey

Hello Friends and Family!
I am still here and still on the journey!! It's been a busy couple of weeks! I didn't get a chance to update last week.  I stepped on the scale last Wednesday and I didn't lose, and since I was preparing to leave for FL the next day, I didn't take the time to update my blog.

When I arrived in FL last Thursday evening, I was talking to my Mom about my weight loss and how it was getting a little frustrating since I have been exercising almost every single day, and even increasing the intensity.  She asked me what I eat in a typical day, and I told her that I was consuming quite a bit of fresh fruit.  Like almost living on it, because I LOVE fruit!  She suggested that I eliminate fruit just for 2 weeks and see if that makes a difference.  Maybe I was consuming too much natural sugar, which equals a lot of calories!  Well, I did as she said and I lost FIVE POUNDS this week!!!!

Who knows, it could be the way my crazy body works or it could be that I was, in fact, eating way too much fruit!  So, I will go another week without any fruit at all and then gradually add a small amount back into my diet.  She explained that fruit should always be eaten in small amounts, especially when trying to lose weight.

It's amazing the things I am learning as I continue this journey! 

Since June 1, I have lost 40 pounds!  I am feeling better than ever and SO thankful for your prayers!! God is so good and I continue to press on and let Him carry me through each day!

I Can Run!

Hello my friends and family!!
Well, I am down another one pound this week!  From everything I read and hear, slow and steady weight loss is the best way to lose and gives me a higher chance of keeping the weight off!  Honestly, one pound was a little sad since I ran 4 days this week so far!  I just keep telling myself that losing one pound is still a loss..and my plan is to live this new lifestyle for the rest of my life, so eventually I will hit my goal weight!

I am feeling amazing!  I've incorporated just a little more whole grain into my diet, just because I seem to get hungrier since I've been training for the 5k.

Last week on a very hectic day, and after not eating all day long, I came home at 8:30pm, famished and ready to eat everything in sight. I actually had a small dish of white pasta. (I know-shocking!)  I didn't want to do it, but I was feeling desperate, and it's what was available and I figured it was probably a better option than the ice cream in the freezer.  I ate it and honestly didn't even really enjoy it..I was wishing for fish and grilled veggies, really.  I also did not go into any type of self-condemnation at all.  If I would have done that then it would have been easy for me to spiral out of control and eat anything I wanted since I "failed" anyways..but I kept my head on straight.  I ate the pasta, and then got out of the kitchen and back to the work I was doing.  That's just my little confession..and I honestly felt like I had conquered something, really, because my biggest "temptation" has always been pasta, and to put it in my mouth and not want to eat the entire pan was serious progress for me!  I didn't even want more..I just wanted to fill my starving belly and get on with what I had to do the rest of the night!  However, what I should have done was to prepare myself for the day and made something healthy and kept it in the fridge for when I got home and taken healthy snacks with me to eat throughout the day.  Honestly, in the past couple of months I have learned to carry healthy snacks (fruit or veggies) with me if I am out and about, but on that particular day I just neglected to prepare myself for the day. 

I've also noticed that I do not look at my scriptures as often as I used to.  It became like second nature to me to just open up my notebook and recite verses during the day and especially when I felt cravings.  I am sad to say that I have not kept up with it as I should, and I have definitely noticed that I feel like I have more cravings..it is something I am going back to immediately.  I can never, ever think that I no longer need to rely on the Word of God.  It is what has sustained me throughout this journey and I cannot slack in this area at all.  My spiritual "diet" is far more important than my physical diet!

So that is my update for the week.  I covet your prayers as I continue this journey.  Every day is another opportunity to completely die to myself and become the self-disciplined woman that I am in Christ!  I'm also on week two on the couch to 5k training program, and am feeling unbelievable!! Thank you all for loving me and praying for me!!

And so the training begins...

Stepped on the scale this morning and lost another 2 pounds!  I was a bit nervous, since I ate way more cooked foods that I would have liked this past week.  I chose only healthy, whole grains like brown rice and whole wheat bread, but I found myself craving those carbs this week and it was making me a little nervous.  I'm learning to find a good balance in my diet.  Trying not to be afraid of food even if it is healthy and good for my body. 

So August 1st marked 2 months since I began this journey to wholeness.  33 pounds gone and I am amazed at the energy level I now have, as well as the increased endurance I now posses!  On Sunday, July 31, I began training for my very first 5k.  I am doing the 'couch to 5k' training program, and I will admit that I was very surprised that I was able to complete the first 2 days of the training schedule!  The 5k is scheduled for October 15, so with God by my side and consistent training over the next two months, I believe I can do this!  I know it's going to be very hard work, but I am up for the challenge and excited to meet this goal!

I am so thankful for your prayers and encouragement!  Please continue to pray for me as I tread down this path, holding the hand of my Savior, taking on new challenges and gaining new strength in Him.  I thank God for all He continues to do in my life.

I love to watch the scale go DOWN

31 pounds GONE in 8 weeks!  I am doing my happy dance! :)

Vacation, Family, Emotions and Continued Weightloss..

Hello Friends!
I am still alive and well!  We were on vacation last week, and I decided that I would spend as much time with my family as possible, which also meant that my time on the computer was very limited.  We spent the week on Conesus Lake with my siblings and parents, and had a fantastic time!

We celebrated my parents 70th birthdays with a fabulous menu of favorite Italian foods, and by the grace of God, I stayed on my food plan 100%.  I rarely experience cravings anymore, to which I am extremely grateful.

However, as the week progressed, there were a few intense moments which family can only bring on..emotions can surface so easily with the people we love the most.  I found myself feeling those emotions more than ever before, and then it dawned on me that in the past I have always numbed myself with food when I started to 'feel' anything.  It was not uncommon for me to grab a cookie or bread, anything to stuff my emotions and not have to deal with them.  I found myself extremely upset on a few different occasions, and realized that I now need to figure out the best way to communicate and deal with these emotions since I have removed my 'medication' from my life.  I am happy to say that I did talk these emotions out with my family, admitted where I was wrong and we moved on, and continued to have a fantastic time together!  I am so very thankful for a family who is open to communicate, who love each other so deeply, enough to admit when we are wrong and continue to love one another despite our weaknesses and flaws.  We are blessed indeed!

Monday was another day full of emotions. We came home a little sunburned and exhausted and I literally felt like having a temper tantrum!!  I was just feeling anxious about a lot of things, and I wanted so badly to just start eating everything!!  I have to honestly say that it was the first time I felt like that since the beginning of this journey.  It took everything I had to stay out of that kitchen.  I was seriously ready to make a dish of pasta and then top it off with some brownies!!  But GOD, in His GREAT MERCY had compassion on me and made a way of escape!  This new mind He has given me began to think much more clearly than I have in a very long time.  I told myself that it was okay to feel these emotions, but it was not okay to stuff my face and slip back into my old habits so easily.  Once again I found myself sitting on the couch filled with frustration.  The longer I sat there, the more peace I felt as I poured my heart out to my heavenly Father.  After about an hour I felt completely at peace with myself and with God.  My heart was so grateful of His promise to never leave us.  The 'escape' that He made for me was to go back into the kitchen and have a piece of Ezekiel bread , toasted and slathered with natural peanut butter and enjoy the good food I have available to me.  What an intense feeling to make a conscious healthy choice after dealing with the emotions I was feeling, instead of diving into the refrigerator or pantry, full force, full of emotion and mindlessly stuffing my face.  Can I say it again?? God is so GOOD!
 
So, last Wednesday I weighed myself and lost a whopping FIVE pounds!  Since there was no loss the week before, I was ecstatic to see these results!!

Today, I stepped on the scale and I lost another TWO pounds!  I continue to work out at the YMCA, take bike rides with my family, and am eating only fresh, clean foods.  I start every morning with a bowl of oatmeal topped with fresh fruit.  Lunch is usually a fresh fruit salad, or green salad.  I try to keep my lunch all raw, although sometimes I do have some cooked vegetables and/or chicken.  Dinner is lean meat or fish (I rarely eat red meat) and fresh (cooked or raw) vegetables.  If I do feel like I need a snack in the afternoon or evening, I always choose a fresh piece of fruit or raw veggies.  Occasionally I will have a piece or two of Ezekiel bread (which is a sprouted grain bread) with natural peanut butter and all fruit spread or honey.  I try not to eat too much grain since I just feel that much better without it.  I have commited to God that I will not consume any sugar or processed foods until I reach my goal weight.

I am thankful that even in the midst of my crazy emotions, that God continues to be faithful.  His promises are true, His peace is there for us to take hold of and His mercies are never ending!  I continue to take this journey one day at a time and I am humbled that He continues to carry me despite my weaknesses.

I will be posting new pictures this afternoon!

New Pic..

Although the scale recorded no weight loss this week, I am keeping up with pictures.  I decided at the beginning of this journey to post a new picture of myself every other week.  24 lbs in 6 weeks!!

24 lbs GONE

 

Weigh In Wednesday Not so Wonderful

Well..once again, the scale did not move.  Last week after losing 3 lbs, I thought for sure because I started working out harder and added some weight training that I would have seen a loss this week.  But, this morning, the scale read the exact weight as last week. 

A couple of variables to consider, one being the fact that I am on the second day of my menstrual cycle...and the weight training..could fat possibly be turning into muscle already?!

I document what I eat each day, and only once have I ever gone above 1500 calories in the past six weeks!  I average about 1200 calories each day.  Yesterday I barely ate 800 calories! 

A friend reminded me that it is not totally about weight loss anyways, it is about obedience, and that reminder was incredibly encouraging.  I am choosing to be obedient to what the Lord has shown me to do regarding my body.  There's nothing I could really change, except eating less or spend my life at the gym..I do not consume anything white or processed.  I rarely eat grains, and the only main carbs I eat come from fruit.  So, I feel as if I am truly feeding my body good, healthy fuel, and getting a good routine of exercise. 

I went to the YMCA 3 times last week and twice this week already!  I am feeling better than ever!  No loss this week is a little discouraging to me, but I do know that my body is not as young as it used to be and there could be all kinds of crazy reasons as to why this has happened.  I will not allow it to set me back at all..I am thankful for this journey and I am bound and determined to continue on this path to wholeness in Christ..spirit, mind and body.

Yesterday we celebrated two birthdays.  My son, Michael turned 15 and my daughter, Julia turned 10!  They have the same birthday, just 5 years apart!  They requested pasta, so I was forced to face my biggest temptation once again.  This time was completely different than the disaster that occurred last time!  I steamed some zucchini, eggplant and green pepper and poured a couple of cups of sauce over the vegetables, while everyone else ate rigatoni and meatballs smothered in sauce and Romano cheese.  I never felt deprived and, oh my goodness..it was absolutely delicious!!  We had birthday cake and ice cream, and I can honestly say that I wasn't tempted at all!  The fresh fruit I consume each day has totally taken care of any sugar cravings!!  God is so good!!  His food is completely satisfying!! 

So...onward I go down this journey that my Heavenly Father has me on..thankful for his love..rest assured that although the scale did not move, I am fully at peace and can truthfully say that my God has transformed me into a Woman of Self-Discipline.

I'm Still Here!!

Hello Family and Friends!
It's been a very busy week..so much so that finding the time to update my blog was nearly impossible.  Summer is definitely in full swing, so I expect to only do weekly updates throughout the summer.

Last week was VBS at our church, and we had a fantastic time!  I am so thankful for the incredible church family that God has blessed us with.  July 4th weekend then came upon us rather quickly, and the sounds and smells of summer were everywhere!  Fireworks, s'mores, ice cream cones...yet even as summer officially arrived, I managed to eat 100% "clean" and healthy! I stepped on the scale this morning, and I dropped another THREE POUNDS!!

All week I have been saying, "I am becoming a woman of self-discipline", in fact I wanted to print it out and hang it on my refrigerator.  The other day, the Lord reminded me that what I should be saying is, "I AM a woman of self discipline!"  So that is exactly what I have been proclaiming over the past couple of days.  There is life and death in the power of the tongue..I am all about speaking life into the lives of my children..it is something I try to do often, so why not speak life into my own body??

So that is what I will be printing out and hanging on my refrigerator.  God in his amazing grace and perfect love has promised to complete this work he has started in me and I can boldly proclaim that in Christ, I do, in fact, posses the Godly trait of self-discipline..

Last week I also began fasting once a week.  I fast on Tuesday's, which, if I think about it from a fleshly perspective, it is very hard, but when I think about giving my heavenly father 24 hours of undivided attention..no food to interfere with my thinking as I read his word and as I lift up prayers and conversations with my God, it is very easy, and in fact, it is an act obedience, as I believe that God has showed me that I need to make fasting a regular part of my life. 

I also made it to the YMCA twice last week and worked out on the elliptical machine..which is my favorite machine there.  I also went on 2 bike rides with my family and we then headed up to Stony Brook Park on Saturday where we hiked for a couple of hours.  A month ago I would have been exhausted by the time we finished the hike..the change in my life has already been dramatic.  When we finished the hike I felt amazing..not tired but full of energy!  I carried along my fresh fruit and water to snack on with the kids..a month ago I would have packed granola bars and crackers or chips and possibly some fruit..my husband and I have determined that we are going to become a healthy, active family!

I continue to praise the Lord for the work he is doing in me.  I am constantly humbled that he has his hand on my life..

I pray you are all enjoying your summer! 

21 Pounds GONE!



21 Pounds lost in less than a month! Thank YOU LORD!



No Change..

Well..my weight is exactly the same today as it was last Wednesday.  I'm sure there are reasons for this..going back to solid food, which added a few hundred more calories to my diet..I was at 800 calories every day and now I am at around 1200-1500 depending on the day..I've been sticking closer to 1200 as much as possible...

So...I'm not discouraged in the very least, I just know that sometimes this happens..I will continue to press on!!