Day Thirteen...

For the first time in two weeks I sat down at the dinner table with my family during dinner!  Now don't worry, I did not eat with them, but I was able to sit there and have a conversation with them, without salivating over every bite they took!!  I'm telling you, this is huge for me!! 

I have been feeling great all day long with zero cravings, so I decided to cook dinner for my family.  I have always enjoyed cooking, and to be in the kitchen preparing a meal for the people that are dearest to my heart is unbelievably rewarding.  I have always put love into my food..it just comes natural to me.  I drank a protein shake while cooking, so that was helpful..the shakes are so filling now that my body has adjusted to the reduction in calories.  I even served everyone their plate..it's something I also love doing..plating my food and making it look pretty is all part of my joy for cooking...this is a far cry from the disaster that occurred on pasta night a few days ago!!

I sat down at the table and just smiled as I watched everyone eagerly waiting to pray so they could dig in.  Prayers were offered up and we sat together once again as a family and I never once felt like I was missing out on anything..it wasn't about the food tonight..it was about being with my family. 

Chatter filled our dining room as everyone shared about their day.  My 14 year old son shared about his adventures at a local amusement park, and my 17 year old daughter could not stop saying how much she loved the meal I had prepared for her..with every bite she was more animated..Tori then exclaimed that she was now the Mom, and I was the kid..we could not contain ourselves as laughter erupted and filled the room..these are the most precious moments in my life and today I learned that I don't need to be filled with food to be filled with love..

It's just another step to healing as I continue down the path on this journey to wholeness..

After dinner, I joyfully cleaned up the kitchen..this is not a normal attitude I have when washing dishes, but I just felt so over-joyed.  I had a hidden fear that I wouldn't be able to enjoy dinner time with my family until I returned to normal food, and tonight I have a new hope that this part of my journey will not be as difficult as I had feared..God is so good.

I will leave you with this thought that came to me last night..

God has always been there waiting for me to submit to him, yet I wandered aimlessly down this long road, trying in my own strength to lose weight..yet it was all in vain..and in his infinite wisdom, he knew that this is the time I would finally submit to him and walk in obedience..this is my time...for such a time as this..