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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

more pics to come...

So we took some pics today. When I say "we" I mean my daughters Ally and Julia and myself. Ally has agreed to be one of my accountability partners, and the first task I asked of her was to take some recent photos. Wow is all I can say.  The camera doesn't lie is all I can even think of to say right now.  I didn't realize I had so many chins and lumps and rolls.  I am a photographer and I enjoy being behind the camera, but I also know much about a good angle in which to photograph someone. I can get the right shot and make even someone like myself look pretty darn good. :) I'm even good at this when taking self portraits.

After handing the camera over to someone else this afternoon, I received quite the shock when viewing the results. I swear I never knew I was so large. Wow. And getting larger, apparently. I'm telling you, this was a HUGE wake up call. Did I really think I could hide all this food I have been medicating myself with?  Well, after stepping on the scale this morning and finding out that I am 140lbs overweight, and realizing that an entire person is attached to me..gag. Then the pictures. gag. It has been quite the day. I feel the need to just take a deep breath..step back and formulate a plan. 

I think I have an idea of what I need to do. I have counseled with my husband and even my amazingly wonderful seventeen year old daughter and with their support and encouragement, I feel as if I am ready to take on the task of finding my way back to the woman God created me to be. I was made for more than this.

As I drove home from the Bible study this evening, a song played on the radio. God has always been faithful in ministering to me through music and tonight was no exception.  As I drove and the hunger pangs called my name, and visions of brownies and leftover sausage and peppers clouded my thoughts..this song began to play..


Donna said...

It's great reading your first entry! I love your humor and honesty. "you were made for more than this" really resonates with me, too.

Suzanne said...

Kristina, you are truly an amazing women! There is so much depth to you that God is going to bless so many of us first reaction was to sit here and just cry...but on the the other hand, I hear such hope and freedom from the only true source; II Cor.12:9 "And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." II Cor.10:3-6 "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our WARFARE are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of STRONGHOLDS;)"...
As your Mother, who loves you so dearly, can rest in the fact that you are in the best hands...a very capable Father God who said "The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: Thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of Thine own hands." Ps. 138:8. "I will praise Thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made"...Ps.139:14a

have a beautiful day my daughter! That song was absolutely perfect! I will be prayerfully following this story on your God be the glory!

Jim said...

Hi Kristina,

Mom and I have been with you on your journey of life since Nov 8th 1973. We love you dearly and have always been in your corner.

Nothing can separate us from the love of God and our love for you. I know if "you make no provision for the flesh, you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you. As your daughter Ally so wisely said..Don't be a quitter Mom so is your Heavenly Father saying to "run the race, pressing towards the mark, that you may attain the prize, and your Earthly Father is saying "Quitters never win"

I can see your results Now, you'll be as svelte as your Dad (when I was 21).....I am offering you a part time job right now, without an interview.

I will reward you with a $10.00 a lb payment, to be payable after you reach your goal of losing 100lbs..
We will celebrate with a Protein Drink...

Love ya, Kiss ya, hug ya..........Daddy-o

Kristina said...

Thank you, Donna for your encouragement and for being my first blog that the correct term?? LOL Excited to go on this journey with my fellow MTC-Jesus Girls! :)


Dad-WHOA!!!!!!!!! You are amazing. Seriously, I have the best Daddy in the whole wide world..I LOVE YOU more than words could ever even begin to express. You and Mom are my biggest supporters in anything I've ever done and I know that this will be no exception. I am planning a serious shopping trip when I reach my goal weight!! :) xxoo